“…Hardships are common. Titans sink…”
I find this weird. Life. Downright weird. From how it all starts to how it all goes and inevitably, how it all ends. How it is that while we are around, we learn new things every other new day and every other new day the world unrelentingly reminds us that we still, and I cannot stress this enough, know nothing. How every twist tends to turn us despite the planning and the playing safe. How the signs almost never foretell our story before it plays out. It’s a journey, and we’re on the fast tracks. Whether they’re the right ones is a matter of question. We’re strapped to the roller-coasters nonetheless, braced; savouring the views from the highs for the scenes at the lows that never seem to end. Only after do we realize that we can relate (however loosely) with Drake’s line about those nonstop rollies – shits really don’t ever stop. Hardships are common, fact. Titans themselves sink, other fact. See 1912. What with all the clashes and wraths. To be perfectly honest, it’s hard to stay up when life’s gravity keeps you down, steering you into bergs you never see coming. What you might see coming are the storms that threaten to disturb the peace you try so hard to surround yourself with; storms that stir the once calm waters and try to trap you amidst whirlwinds incensed. The tempests each one in line eager to rock your world and spit you into the eye of the next, and from where I stand, no beauty lies in these beholders. ‘Captains of our ships’, is what we are – or at least that’s what they told us we were. The Jack Sparrows, Cap’n Jack Sparrows, to our Black Pearls. And they were right, I don’t refute. Only they didn’t mention a few very key things. Not the scouring pirates, the vagabonds, sharing these seas with yours but with obvious intentions not to. Nor the broken masts you had to make do with. The faulty lifeboats, the scheming crew smiling in your face, or the icy waters beating against the hull so keen to pull you in. None of these. Looking back, the promise of control over life was near intoxicating. You could be anything you wanted, all you had to do was imagine. Some were wild, others bordering on ludicrous, but the impossibility tied to them made them all the more possible to achieve. The innocence of ignorance was where our bliss sojourned. Ah, to break barriers. To be different. The seas were calm then, the breeze was light, and the showers promised rainbows with gold at their feet. By its virtues, this seemed to be the ultimate water paradise when we were younger. A haven. Fun and fun guaranteed. But it could only last for so long. The thing with time is, in its perpetuity it still finds a way to run out. Before we knew it we were out the shallow end letting go of the grab rails. Look ma, no hands! Delving into the deep where the currents led. If not anywhere else, this was where faith and trust got tested most. Mistakes were made. Lessons were learnt. Growing was up. It still is, until it isn’t anymore; when time is up, when we, or others, decide it is.
The journey has been beautiful, and this cannot be taken from it, but so has it been cruel in its own. We’ve had battles to fight, trials to overcome, demons to face. We won some, we lost some, and we had our biggest critics to face up to. We’ve hoped they would understand our decisions, our moves, because with time you learn they don’t have to. But they live with it. And we live with them… if not for the simple reason that in them are the souls we once were in the shallow waters. The innocence lives on long after the waves. Deep into age, staring into the reflection at the person looking back knowing then how both your stories played out. And taking in how much it all changed… how you survived the roller-coasters. Braved the storms. Grew. Didn’t go to the moon but, hey – there was ever only one way of finding that out. What you couldn’t do you made up for with what you could, and where you sunk you lifted yourself. And that’s titanic in its way.
That is then, however, and this is now. Happening right now, at this time. This is how life is going, at least for now, until it doesn’t anymore. And in the end that isn’t really the end, maybe things will work out. Sense will be made as to the whys, with the hindsight. The whos, the whens, the wheres in the grand wtf. But in the meantime, wind in our sails I guess.